Overall 2016 wasn’t that bad compared to 2015. I think I did pretty well on my resolutions, too. I felt so much more focused this year and was able to have more fun.
A look back on 2016 resolutions:
- Read more books, watch less TV. I’ve already finished one book.
I read lots of books! Go me!
2. Get a raise/promotion or find a new job.
Got a big raise in June and another one in December! Did not feel the need to find a new job and rage quit the old one.
3. Find a nice apartment to go with new job.
No new job so no new apartment. I did look, but no luck there. Now I’m looking for houses near my current job.
4. Pass the highest level of the Japanese Language Proficiency Test.
Results will come out in February. I studied more this year than in 2014 and 2015 combined though.
5. Make more friends and worry less about dating. I’m having too much fun doing my own thing to let some jerk ruin what I’ve got going.
Made some work friends. Didn’t let dating distract me for almost a whole year (May 2015 – June 2016).
6. Take a trip or two to visit friends and family.
Went to Pennsylvania to visit family and Washington D.C. to visit a friend. Also went to Japan to see friends.
Chicago Cubs won the World Series. Saw Hamilton in Chicago. Took a few trips to downtown Chicago with my new friends. Saw Book of Mormon with my family. Had a peaceful Thanksgiving meal despite the contentious election. Shook Barack Obama’s hand when he visited my hometown. Read some amazing books that I will want to re-read again and again. Read my first full novel in Japanese. Went to The Little Mermaid at the municipal opera with my aunt, cousins, and little cousins.
That’s it for 2016.
The year is almost over and I feel like I’m making progress toward my dream of becoming a mom.
I tried dating again and was not very successful. No surprise there though. The last guy I dated broke up with me for reasons outside of his control (illness in the family), so I decided to end the year on that note and not try to date anyone new right before the holidays. The next best time to start dating someone is right after New Year’s, then after that right after Valentine’s Day. Those are two holidays that motivate people to start dating again. I might be waiting for them when they do. Depends on how I feel.
After the last foray into dating ended I kind of feel like it’s time to stop putting it off and buy my first house. If I really want to be a mom in 2020 I need to get settled somewhere first and have some savings ready. Every time I start dating a new person I think I put my life on hold because this one could be “the one.” But I don’t want to keep waiting to buy a house with a guy because it might never happen, and then I’ll be in a situation where I have to put a down payment on a house the same year as starting fertility treatments. That would be no good. I’m in no rush and I have some ideas how I’ll one day be able to afford a mortgage and daycare costs on one income (hint: rent out part of the house).
Besides that, I’ve just been reading books and studying. In a couple weeks I’ll take the big test I’ve been studying for all year. I won’t know the results until February. I hope I pass, if not they don’t offer the test again until next December.
One good thing is that I made some new friends this year. They’re mostly work friends, but where else do adults meet new people? We take trips and watch movies together, and they’re pretty nice.
About five more weeks of the year left, then time to make new resolutions.
I’m thinking about letting my subscription to the SMC forum expire this year. I’m in such a good place right now. I used to log on and research the TTC path whenever I felt hopeless about my love life. Now my work is busy and I’m learning new things; I made a friend who lives in town (and works at the same place as me in another department) and we hang out and do stuff together. The other day I thought about getting back into the dating game, but then I remembered the hours I spent crying in 2015 and kind of shuddered… no thanks! I am getting lots of questions about dating from friends and family though, and I’ve told them I might try to date again this year after Valentine’s Day.
What I’m really more worried about is getting in shape for an upcoming physical. Ten weeks and counting down! I’m trying to remember to take my blood pressure medication every day, and cutting back on caffeinated soft drinks. I already cut out my favorite breakfast item, bagels and cream cheese, and replaced that with a granola bar or smoothie. I’m focusing on low sodium and nutrition. If it’s high in sodium, it’s probably not good for you anyway. I want to try to lower my blood pressure naturally and if I’m lucky not need the medicine anymore. Losing weight isn’t my main goal, but it will help me control my blood pressure.
So for now I’m only worried about health and keeping up this good mood streak. Hoping for a happy 2016!
This weekend I went home to visit my family and go car shopping. I bought a new car (yay!) but I also had a nice conversation with my brother. Lately the single mother by choice plan has been becoming more solid in my mind, and I’ve already brought it up with a couple of people in my life. I already know that one of my best friends has been thinking about it. I suggested it to my mother once, and all she said was, “You’ll find someone.” But the other night I was talking to my brother and all of a sudden I said, “I’ve got a crazy idea.” He listened to my idea, and then he told me that he had been thinking about adoption as a single father himself. He thinks it will be a long time before he can afford to adopt, but he’s had the idea. I guess a lot of people around my age start to think about alternatives when their “the one” doesn’t show up as soon as they’d like. Maybe it’s also our personalities: very independent, not willing to settle, set in our ways.
I have two people in my corner now, and one who will need some convincing. My mother will probably need the same amount of time I did to mourn the ideal “Plan A” that seems to be so popular (although divorce statistics suggest otherwise). Mourn I did, and it’s been a weepy several months of switching the radio station when a love song plays, avoiding romantic comedies at the movie theater, and staying off of Facebook.
I’m still waiting to hear back about a great job I had an interview for several weeks ago. If I can land this job, my dream of starting a family will become even more possible. Having support from my family is now in the works too.
I can’t believe what happened the other day. I was talking to my friend over dinner one night, and she blurted out that she wants to go to a doctor and get an IUI! She has had the same thoughts as myself. We’re both single and getting older, so maybe I shouldn’t have been surprised. Then it got even weirder when she said she wanted to do it at 32. That’s the same age I have been planning for! So we decided that that we will both be moms in 2020. Amazing. This doesn’t mean that we’ve completely given up trying to find someone, but now we have a plan. If we’re both single at 32 we’ll be pregnancy buddies. I hope it works out for us!