2016 Recap

Overall 2016 wasn’t that bad compared to 2015. I think I did pretty well on my resolutions, too. I felt so much more focused this year and was able to have more fun.

A look back on 2016 resolutions:

  1. Read more books, watch less TV. I’ve already finished one book.

I read lots of books! Go me!

2. Get a raise/promotion or find a new job.

Got a big raise in June and another one in December! Did not feel the need to find a new job and rage quit the old one.

3. Find a nice apartment to go with new job.

No new job so no new apartment. I did look, but no luck there. Now I’m looking for houses near my current job.

4. Pass the highest level of the Japanese Language Proficiency Test.

Results will come out in February. I studied more this year than in 2014 and 2015 combined though.

5. Make more friends and worry less about dating. I’m having too much fun doing my own thing to let some jerk ruin what I’ve got going.

Made some work friends. Didn’t let dating distract me for almost a whole year (May 2015 – June 2016).

6. Take a trip or two to visit friends and family.

Went to Pennsylvania to visit family and Washington D.C. to visit a friend. Also went to Japan to see friends.

Other things:

Chicago Cubs won the World Series. Saw Hamilton in Chicago. Took a few trips to downtown Chicago with my new friends. Saw Book of Mormon with my family. Had a peaceful Thanksgiving meal despite the contentious election. Shook Barack Obama’s hand when he visited my hometown. Read some amazing books that I will want to re-read again and again. Read my first full novel in Japanese. Went to The Little Mermaid at the municipal opera with my aunt, cousins, and little cousins.

That’s it for 2016.

2016 Recap

Feeling stuck

Ok first, I have to say that Ghostbusters was hilarious and I’ll probably be buying it on DVD. Every moment was hilarious. Now that that’s out of the way…

I had a rough day at work Friday that kind of dragged me down on Saturday. Even though the events at work had nothing to do with my life situation, they managed to kill my general good mood.

Lately it feels like I’m stuck where I am. Every time a decent-looking apartment becomes available, the listing is gone before I can even go look at it. There are a lot of houses for sale, but I’m worried about buying a house and then not being able to sell it, or losing a ton of money if I try to move a few years later. I keep reminding myself that I have to wait, that things are going to change down the road, but it’s hard to keep still right now.

At work there’s a long term project that doesn’t have an end in sight. I wish we could wrap it up so I could put it on my resume and move on to a better job.

I’m getting really frustrated because I want it to be 4 years in the future.

I had some thoughts about buying some sperm and trying to get pregnant this year… but it’s really not the right time. A lot of things could happen this year and it would be very difficult with a baby. Moving, training a new dog, maybe starting a new job, studying for the big test in December. Also my cousin is pregnant after trying for a couple years, so my having a baby on my own might steal a little bit of her thunder. Don’t want to overshadow her with the scandal I know that will cause. The baby will be born in November so I don’t have long to wait if I really wanted to try to get pregnant. It would be a shame to have to change the name of this blog, but if if worse comes to worse that’s what I’ll do.

One week later and no word from that boy I went on a date with. He doesn’t seem like the type that texts a lot, so it’s not surprising. At least I got it over with and my parents can’t say I didn’t try.


Feeling stuck

Break Over

Well it’s been a great year being single, getting to know myself better, and having a lot of fun with my friends. Saturday marks my first date in more than a year. I’m seeing the guy my family wants me to get to know (though in secret), so they can’t say I didn’t at least give him a chance. I haven’t told them about it because I don’t want them to get their hopes up. It’s been hard not telling everybody that I know though. I have a date!

In other news, for some reason I feel like I’m running out of time to start a family. Maybe it’s because I’m turning 29 next month and I always thought I would have been married with kids by now. It’s hard to believe that time has flown by so fast. I still feel like a young 20 year old, but then I hear about people only a few years older than me having fertility issues and I get freaked out. I guess if I really wanted to I could go about finding a higher paying job and buying a house, but something is keeping me in the town I’ve made home for almost two years. The project at work is always almost done, but never really ends, and I just started making friends here, and the town is so cute. And my apartment is beautiful. The schools here are pretty terrible though, and I don’t know if having a baby in a 1 bedroom apartment is a good idea. I’m already getting cramped with all my stuff, how would a baby’s stuff fit? Anyway I don’t feel ready to move on from my job and apartment, but if I don’t I can’t have a baby… What to do!? Maybe I’ll have more answers in 2017.

A few other exciting things are on the way this year.

  1. Trip to Washington D.C. in September
  2. Turning 29, and I don’t plan on getting any older than that!
  3. Getting a root canal sometime this year… not exciting but financially a set back. It will be nice to not have a toothache anymore.
  4. JLPT level N1 in December

One last thing… I am considering moving within my town to a place that allows pets. I was lonely one night and thought, I’m getting a dog! Why not? Finding a suitable apartment that allows pets is tough though. Most places want way more in rent than I can afford. Even the small, old apartments are expensive if you want to have a pet. Maybe I will have to wait until I buy a house.

To end on a good note, in a few minutes I’m going to see Ghostbusters before it leaves theaters. Hope it’s good!

Break Over

Loving the single life right now

I’m thinking about letting my subscription to the SMC forum expire this year. I’m in such a good place right now. I used to log on and research the TTC path whenever I felt hopeless about my love life. Now my work is busy and I’m learning new things; I made a friend who lives in town (and works at the same place as me in another department) and we hang out and do stuff together. The other day I thought about getting back into the dating game, but then I remembered the hours I spent crying in 2015 and kind of shuddered… no thanks! I am getting lots of questions about dating from friends and family though, and I’ve told them I might try to date again this year after Valentine’s Day.

What I’m really more worried about is getting in shape for an upcoming physical. Ten weeks and counting down! I’m trying to remember to take my blood pressure medication every day, and cutting back on caffeinated soft drinks. I already cut out my favorite breakfast item, bagels and cream cheese, and replaced that with a granola bar or smoothie. I’m focusing on low sodium and nutrition. If it’s high in sodium, it’s probably not good for you anyway. I want to try to lower my blood pressure naturally and if I’m lucky not need the medicine anymore. Losing weight isn’t my main goal, but it will help me control my blood pressure.

So for now I’m only worried about health and keeping up this good mood streak. Hoping for a happy 2016!



Loving the single life right now

Major Setback

After two months of waiting, I finally heard back about the job I interviewed for. Unfortunately I did not get the job. I had been hoping for it because it paid so much more, was more secure, and had better benefits. I always imagine too far into the future, too. I was already looking for houses in good areas and thinking how I would decorate. Now back to the drawing board. Hopefully this does not delay my dream of becoming a mom in 2020. I am now brainstorming ways to get a different job that pays better than I what I do now. I don’t have very many skills and I’m afraid I’ll spend the rest of my life in entry level jobs. I could go back to school, but taking on debt in this economy doesn’t seem like a wise idea.

On top of this disappointment, I had a rough day at work. My coworker can’t do his job right and passes his mistakes on to me. I’d love to quit and never go back to that place, but it would look bad on my resume and they probably wouldn’t give any good recommendations if I left them high and dry suddenly.

As for dating, I am trying to ease myself back into it. I am listed as looking for new friends online, and that is getting some responses. Start as friends is best I think from now on.

That’s the most recent development in the mess that is my life. Wish I could just hop in the car and drive until I feel like stopping, but life has other demands.

Major Setback

Gathering Support

This weekend I went home to visit my family and go car shopping. I bought a new car (yay!) but I also had a nice conversation with my brother. Lately the single mother by choice plan has been becoming more solid in my mind, and I’ve already brought it up with a couple of people in my life. I already know that one of my best friends has been thinking about it. I suggested it to my mother once, and all she said was, “You’ll find someone.” But the other night I was talking to my brother and all of a sudden I said, “I’ve got a crazy idea.” He listened to my idea, and then he told me that he had been thinking about adoption as a single father himself. He thinks it will be a long time before he can afford to adopt, but he’s had the idea. I guess a lot of people around my age start to think about alternatives when their “the one” doesn’t show up as soon as they’d like. Maybe it’s also our personalities: very independent, not willing to settle, set in our ways.

I have two people in my corner now, and one who will need some convincing. My mother will probably need the same amount of time I did to mourn the ideal “Plan A” that seems to be so popular (although divorce statistics suggest otherwise). Mourn I did, and it’s been a weepy several months of switching the radio station when a love song plays, avoiding romantic comedies at the movie theater, and staying off of Facebook.

I’m still waiting to hear back about a great job I had an interview for several weeks ago. If I can land this job, my dream of starting a family will become even more possible. Having support from my family is now in the works too.

Gathering Support

Dreaming About the Future

When I imagine the future after I have kids, husband or no, I imagine myself working from home and being able to spend time with them while they’re little. I would hire a nanny or baby sitter to watch the kid(s) while I have to work, but then I could eat lunch with the kids and take them to the park when the weather is nice. In order to make this dream come true I need to work on my career to get to the point that I can start my own freelance/consulting business from home. I did a lot of research today. It’s gonna be difficult and probably require more schooling, but just being able to work for myself is goal enough. The idea of being home with the kids during the most formative years is even more inspiring.

Dreaming About the Future