This month is an important anniversary for me. Five years being single! That means no long-term relationships. Around this time five years ago the guy I wanted to marry and have kids with refused to get on a plane to come visit me while I was living in Japan. No one has ever lasted more than a few dates after that. All of the guys I have fallen for have disappointed me since then. I’ve probably hurt some people too, that goes with dating and rejection, but I’ve never tried to deceive someone or manipulate someone. Quite a few things have been learned. I learned I’m very career minded and it’s hard for me to compromise on that. I learned that while a lot of people are ok with not having kids, I need to have at least one. I learned that traveling is addictive and I’m always planning the next trip. And a few solo trips taught me that it’s possible to go to a new place by yourself and have fun. Overall I know what I want to accomplish, and the fun part is figuring out how to do it.
To celebrate I treated myself to a new piece of jewelry (I collect jewelry like some people might collect shoes or fancy handbags).
I also took myself on a dinner and movie date. I ate at a restaurant by myself then watched a movie. It’s a little hard for me to go to a crowded restaurant by myself but this time I didn’t have a bad experience. Movies are easier because no one is looking at you in a dark theater.
I had a great day and I’m glad I didn’t spend it in the house all day. Hopefully in five more years I’ll be able to celebrate with my little one. Or maybe get a babysitter and treat myself to some alone time. Who knows what my life will be like in five years.
The year is almost over and I feel like I’m making progress toward my dream of becoming a mom.
I tried dating again and was not very successful. No surprise there though. The last guy I dated broke up with me for reasons outside of his control (illness in the family), so I decided to end the year on that note and not try to date anyone new right before the holidays. The next best time to start dating someone is right after New Year’s, then after that right after Valentine’s Day. Those are two holidays that motivate people to start dating again. I might be waiting for them when they do. Depends on how I feel.
After the last foray into dating ended I kind of feel like it’s time to stop putting it off and buy my first house. If I really want to be a mom in 2020 I need to get settled somewhere first and have some savings ready. Every time I start dating a new person I think I put my life on hold because this one could be “the one.” But I don’t want to keep waiting to buy a house with a guy because it might never happen, and then I’ll be in a situation where I have to put a down payment on a house the same year as starting fertility treatments. That would be no good. I’m in no rush and I have some ideas how I’ll one day be able to afford a mortgage and daycare costs on one income (hint: rent out part of the house).
Besides that, I’ve just been reading books and studying. In a couple weeks I’ll take the big test I’ve been studying for all year. I won’t know the results until February. I hope I pass, if not they don’t offer the test again until next December.
One good thing is that I made some new friends this year. They’re mostly work friends, but where else do adults meet new people? We take trips and watch movies together, and they’re pretty nice.
About five more weeks of the year left, then time to make new resolutions.
Ok first, I have to say that Ghostbusters was hilarious and I’ll probably be buying it on DVD. Every moment was hilarious. Now that that’s out of the way…
I had a rough day at work Friday that kind of dragged me down on Saturday. Even though the events at work had nothing to do with my life situation, they managed to kill my general good mood.
Lately it feels like I’m stuck where I am. Every time a decent-looking apartment becomes available, the listing is gone before I can even go look at it. There are a lot of houses for sale, but I’m worried about buying a house and then not being able to sell it, or losing a ton of money if I try to move a few years later. I keep reminding myself that I have to wait, that things are going to change down the road, but it’s hard to keep still right now.
At work there’s a long term project that doesn’t have an end in sight. I wish we could wrap it up so I could put it on my resume and move on to a better job.
I’m getting really frustrated because I want it to be 4 years in the future.
I had some thoughts about buying some sperm and trying to get pregnant this year… but it’s really not the right time. A lot of things could happen this year and it would be very difficult with a baby. Moving, training a new dog, maybe starting a new job, studying for the big test in December. Also my cousin is pregnant after trying for a couple years, so my having a baby on my own might steal a little bit of her thunder. Don’t want to overshadow her with the scandal I know that will cause. The baby will be born in November so I don’t have long to wait if I really wanted to try to get pregnant. It would be a shame to have to change the name of this blog, but if if worse comes to worse that’s what I’ll do.
One week later and no word from that boy I went on a date with. He doesn’t seem like the type that texts a lot, so it’s not surprising. At least I got it over with and my parents can’t say I didn’t try.
Well it’s been a great year being single, getting to know myself better, and having a lot of fun with my friends. Saturday marks my first date in more than a year. I’m seeing the guy my family wants me to get to know (though in secret), so they can’t say I didn’t at least give him a chance. I haven’t told them about it because I don’t want them to get their hopes up. It’s been hard not telling everybody that I know though. I have a date!
In other news, for some reason I feel like I’m running out of time to start a family. Maybe it’s because I’m turning 29 next month and I always thought I would have been married with kids by now. It’s hard to believe that time has flown by so fast. I still feel like a young 20 year old, but then I hear about people only a few years older than me having fertility issues and I get freaked out. I guess if I really wanted to I could go about finding a higher paying job and buying a house, but something is keeping me in the town I’ve made home for almost two years. The project at work is always almost done, but never really ends, and I just started making friends here, and the town is so cute. And my apartment is beautiful. The schools here are pretty terrible though, and I don’t know if having a baby in a 1 bedroom apartment is a good idea. I’m already getting cramped with all my stuff, how would a baby’s stuff fit? Anyway I don’t feel ready to move on from my job and apartment, but if I don’t I can’t have a baby… What to do!? Maybe I’ll have more answers in 2017.
A few other exciting things are on the way this year.
- Trip to Washington D.C. in September
- Turning 29, and I don’t plan on getting any older than that!
- Getting a root canal sometime this year… not exciting but financially a set back. It will be nice to not have a toothache anymore.
- JLPT level N1 in December
One last thing… I am considering moving within my town to a place that allows pets. I was lonely one night and thought, I’m getting a dog! Why not? Finding a suitable apartment that allows pets is tough though. Most places want way more in rent than I can afford. Even the small, old apartments are expensive if you want to have a pet. Maybe I will have to wait until I buy a house.
To end on a good note, in a few minutes I’m going to see Ghostbusters before it leaves theaters. Hope it’s good!
Wow it’s so much fun to look back at old posts and see what I was doing and thinking in the past.
Right now it’s 2 am and I’m wide awake because I accidentally fell asleep around 7 pm yesterday. Whoops. I think the heat is draining all of my energy.
I bought flight tickets to visit my friend that moved far away. I’ll go ahead and say the city is Washington, D.C. I got tickets on sale (again) and have a friend’s place to crash in, so super affordable! I can’t wait to see all of the museums and soak in the history while I’m there.
I had a fun day of doing nothing planned yesterday that was derailed by a phone call from my mother. There’s a boy in my hometown that my family seems to think I should get to know. I don’t even know that he’s interested in me. I don’t even think I would like him. But now I have to hear, “Did you call him yet?” all the time. I doubt she does this shit to my brother. She needs to find someone else to live through vicariously. I was upset for the rest of the day, a little bit at her for bringing it up again, but mostly at the pressure society puts on people to couple up, especially women.
So far this year I’ve had a lot of fun.
- Trip to Japan to sight-see and visit friends
- Reading lots of books
- Working hard and getting paid
Today I got a 10% raise! I was very surprised, last year I only got 2%. Earlier this year my coworker quit and took a lot of knowledge with him, leaving me as the only expert on our job. In my yearly review my boss mentioned that he was afraid I might leave. Maybe this is his way of getting me to stay longer. What I really need is a back-up, and they finally hired a replacement that starts next week. Having a lighter workload is what I’m really looking forward to, but a few extra bucks is also nice.
Books I’ve read so far this year:
I can definitely recommend “Uprooted” by Naomi Novik. It is full of adventure and magic, if you like those kinds of things. It takes place in a fictional Poland, and I was so inspired by the names and words used that I started studying Polish and picked up some Polish phrases! Now I’m ready to visit Poland and see some castles.
I also recommend “Staked” by Kevin Hearne. It’s the 8th book in a series though, so anyone should start with “Hounded” by Kevin Hearne. It’s about a 2000 year old Irish Druid living in Arizona that is being chased by gods. There’s a lot of humor, magic, mythology, and a hilarious talking dog! Great series, unfortunately the author said there will only be one more book published.
Not much news going on elsewhere. Still taking a break from dating, and quite happy! The other day at an after-work dinner with my coworkers I used the term “happily single” and my coworker didn’t blink an eye. She said she was happily single, too. I think she’s divorced. I think as I get older I will meet more like-minded people that don’t believe singledom is something that needs to be fixed.
One year ago I started this blog while I was working through a very turbulent time in my life. I’ve changed a lot since that time. I’m more sure of myself and what I want now, just by blogging and taking some time to think. Since March 2015 I’ve bought a new car, made some new friends, and taken a break from dating. I’m still on my break and doing fine. I did restart some online dating activities, but after receiving a nice message from someone I realized I wasn’t ready yet! It’s going to be hard to go back to online dating after having so much fun and not worrying about it!
Yesterday I started a new diet to try to lose the last of the Christmas weight before spring gets here. So far so good.
I’m continuing to study Japanese and next month I’ll be visiting some friends in Japan (thanks to a great online flight deal). Hoping to take the JLPT N1 this year and pass, which would be a miracle.
Finally, my BFF is moving far, far away soon. I’m a little sad, but happy that she found a job in one of her dream cities. I knew I would lose her soon, but I was secretly hoping she would have a change of heart and find a job in the large city near where I live. I will definitely visit her and see the sights of her new city later this year.