I’ve been thinking about the path I will go down later in life, that of becoming a single mother. Every day I become more sure that marriage isn’t for me, but I still get freaked out about becoming a single mom. What if something happens to me? Who will take care of the baby?

Today I did some research into co-parenting with another person/couple to see if that would be a route that would work for me. There were the usual articles along the lines of, “I did this and this and it was horrible” as there are with all alternative parenting techniques, trying to warn people away. It would definitely be a huge decision that I would have to make with people that I’ve known for a long time and trust completely. Then, things could still go south and there could be a custody battle that would entrench us into a legal system that has not adapted to these new types of families. So back to square one. Becoming a single mother, ensuring a stable, loving home, and no court dates and legal fees and custody arrangements.

I only toyed with the idea for a few days before researching it though, so maybe I shouldn’t come to a decision yet. It would be nice to find another person to raise the child with, but that I didn’t have to live with and be romantic with. I’m no good at romantic relationships, and I can’t imagine trying to raise a child and keep a partner happy at the same time. I would probably end up the unhappy one.

I think it’s funny when people say that the best people to raise a child are a married couple. They think the child will see how loving relationships work, and these co-parents and single parents won’t be able to do that. I was raised by married parents and I still can’t handle relationships. Married couples are not guaranteed to raise well adjusted children, so give these single parents and co-parents some slack for trying their best!

Ok, I said my piece.

Becoming a single mom is going to be scary, but I’m going to have to get over that. Nothing that’s easy is worth doing, isn’t that what people say? Or they say that if your dreams don’t scare you, then you aren’t dreaming big enough. Something like that.


3 thoughts on “So SCARY!

  1. Co-parenting, to me, is so much scarier than being a single parent! It’s down to what suits each of us, of course, but I can’t imagine being tied to a person I have no feelings for to begin with (whether friendship or romantic) for the rest of my life. Not even just custody battles, but the freedom to move cities/states/countries or planning everything around the other parent. It works for some, but not for me. I think a lot of the ones that work are when the parents have known each other a long time, or theres a clear agreement that one party doesn’t want to be involved 50/50 (so more of a known donor scenario)

    Regarding what would happen if something happened to you, family and friends will almost always step up to that task so try not to worry 🙂


  2. I have a friend who became a single mom with a friend. Their do parent relationship is awesome. Works for her. Doesn’t work for everyone. They did get a lawyer and made a contract so she could travel and such with her kids without argument. But just so you know becoming a single mum sans partner is one of my greatest accomplishments. I love it!!!!! If my hubby were still alive I am sure this would be easier in some ways and harder in others.


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